Thoughts....

Often I wonder if I could hear, what path would I be on? You see I used the very answer I get by attempting to do what comes to mind! I attempt to achieve what seems impossible and dare God to help me achieve it! Once I do, I sit back and laugh at myself for ever doubting I could. I'm deaf without my hearing aids and hearing impaired with my hearing aids. Most people truly have a hard time grasping what that means. I use to think that I was limited to what the device could or couldn't do for me but now I understand it's not the device that should make the decision but my heart. If the heart is willing that means God is willing. My daughter told me two days ago that I am her role model because she felt I was not afraid of anything and I do everything ! I smiled and hugged her with all my might! She is learning a very valuable lesson and she is learning it from me at a very young age! God is great all the time.

In conclusion, I am exactly what God created me to be fearful of him, empowered, and made to hear his voice!

Not my thoughts, but my heart!

One foot in front of the other

It's been awhile since I've posted anything and that's mostly because I've had to face with one ordeal after another. When you're born hearing impaired, the silence you are comfortable with and it's everyone else who has the problem. You don't realize until you start growing that you actual are different from everyone else. If you're lucky enough to have therapists and teachers who believe in you, you begin to try to conform because you think you will live a normal life. Its not until you get older that you stop feeling like something is wrong with you and when people don't give you a chance you realize it's something wrong with them.

My hearing loss is not a curse, it is such a blessing. I don't want no one laying hands on me to convince God to change me. I don't want an implant in my head to change me. I'm just fine with me! Two of my three children have a confirm loss and I'm teaching them the great strength that lies within them. It's my prayer they won't suffer low self morales and take a long time to know their true power. I love my hearing aids!!! I thank God for creating the technology that helps so many people!!!

As I face each new day, I'm optimistic that all that I am and because of whose I am, my Children, children, children will live to tell of our family legacy.

When you make noise

So I walk into an audiology office cause my hearing aid won't stop squealing. The lady hears me at the front desk and ask me to wait as she checks a patient out. As I'm waiting to let her know I need to see someone about fixing this noise, the audiologist walks out. She ask one of her older patients "is your hearing aids turned on?" I smile but she doesn't see me and she isn't associating the noise to be me. The lady at the front desk is trying to get her attention and keep checking the patient out. It quite hilarious to me and I wasn't going to say anything at all because frankly I wanted to see how good her hearing is! Those who hear well are able to locate from which direction the sound is coming from so I've been told cause I can not do that nor can I hear the actual squealing. What I hear is mostly sounds fading in and out. Needless to say, the doc had to be told it was me and I proceeded to tell her "I'm here to get this very issue fix!". She smiled and made her way back to her office. I know it's going to get taken care of cause she left a patient in her office. She knew high pitch squeal probably was driving everyone who could hear, insane. Which leads me to ponder this thought...."When you make a noise or some noise, you get everyone who can hear the noise, attention." The only thing you have to focus on is what type of noise are you making?" Is it a noise that comforts or soothes? Is it loud enough to cause people to go into action or soft enough to be ignored? Have you been making the same noise for so long that no one notices? Or do you need to change the noise or the people who hears it? Cause frankly, what I witness in this doctor office was pretty much all of the above. What I took away from the experience was more than I anticipated because after all, I'm trying to silence the darn thing!!

Redemption

When my heavenly father redeemed me, he knew he had a deeply created relationship. Since I was knee high to a grasshopper I talked to him. Now as I look back over my life, I can see his presence. So now when I look forward I use my faith to see the great things he's going to do because I am redeemed! My brother Christ, holy divine Spirit and Gracious Father, I love you! Thank you for saving me!

When water doesn't make a sound....

To wash my hair, I have to take my hearing aids out. Whenever I have to take them out, I am reminded of just how deaf I am. Yes, as an hearing impaired person even you can have moment where you forget that you are in fact deaf. That the aids only add a Little bit of sound to your life, it's just that an Aid!

I took them out, wash my hair and then proceeded to go get a shower cap to deep condition my hair. Walked around the house, played with the kids, came back to the sink and OH, the water was still running! This would have been not a panic moment if the water bill hadn't gone up a few cents! Well it has and now I have a nice size bill to look forward to! We talking a least an hour of water running that did nothing but just run. Oh boy and oh well, when water doesn't make a sound..... well you kinda forget it running!!!

The hurt and pain of being Hearing Impaired

This weekend was an awaken for me and my family due to the new discovers that was made last week My 5 month old will indeed need hearing aids and will be fitted by next months. My 1 1/2 year old will be tested for a hearing loss as well as given a speech test to see if he is developing as he should. Until he takes the tests, we do not know if his hearing has changed since birth. He has shown some signs of loss but he could be just misbehaving as well.

This has rocked my family to the core. Some are not saying anything about it and moving forward as if its unreal, some are breaking down and crying while others are just pissed off! The question in most mind is why us? Why an entire family? Well, I've long came to peace with my hearing loss. It no longer causes pain for me nor does it upset me. I've come to appreciate the silent and look at it as a gift from God. I will go into details about that in another post, but for now, I must deal with the hurt and pain.

My mom, who I love dearly was very upset yesterday. She is the first generation hearing impaired and in her mind, she is the 16 year old girl who they told was hearing impaired and that it would not affect her children. She says clearly someone was lying!! I consoled her and I let her know that we are such strong individuals! She views our impairment as a problem and I told her to view it as a gift. Remind yourself of all the things you like about not being able to hear. There are many pluses if you only stop to look at them. It took some talking but I am not 100% sure she is totally comfortable. There will be a new reality once my baby boy is fitted with hearing aids and then it will be determined if my 1 year old is OK.

As a parent and a daughter, I know that I will lead everyone through the muck and we will be just fine. I know that I have been equipped to go through this time period in our lives. I know that I have new battle to fight on another front, but for now, I will focus on the hurt and pain that is in my family for now, because it will be replace with Joy very soon!!!

Introduction

Finally! A spot on the worldwide web, I can place my thoughts and not have to be slowed down by the computer trying to load them on my website. I was attempting to do this on my actual web store but for some reason the template would load a few words, preview, load a few more words, preview again. Talk about aggravating!! I was about to pull my hair out! Then I tried to post my blog on facebook and the name facebook to me means brief. I hate to see that little link, see more..... Not! If I am scrolling through my news feed, the first couple of lines better catch me or I am going to keep going. I got things to do, things to post, places to go and people to see!

So here I am! In blogger ville!! The place for people who like to read inexpensive books, meaning no cost! I bet there are people right now thinking who needs realty TV when I can just go read a random story and use my imagination, riiiiiight? Has anyone taking a count of the population to see who or how many people still read?!? After all, we have direct TV, time warner cable and AT & T Uverse! We can see all the degrading shows for a niiice price who needs to read a blog?!?!? Sheesh!


I do, and you reading this, do! There is a lot to be said about a person that can sit at a computer, have a thought and clearly, with little to no grammar error, type them for you to read!!

Just how do I plan to use this site, well, I want to write about the grandoise life I have lived so far and the crap that comes with it! I want to make mistakes here and learn about them, then move forward!! I want to read what others think and maybe get a free education out of it. I am sure there are things I do not know about my hearing impaired life and I pray there are things I just have not discovered that can help my family as well as others!! Soooo, the blogging is about to begin!! I think you can subscribe to me and I hope that you do because it is going to get very interesting......